...this past month has been a comedy of errors, hot then icy, and every once in a while - particularly recently - angsty in the most annoying mild way. good for laughs, good for storytelling, and good for a tear or two. for this post, i guess what i am thinking about the most right this moment is that some of the company i keep here in houston probably are bad for me. does anyone else have junk food friends? i sometimes see it from the outside and grow terribly sad.
what happens to self-esteem? does it exist, and where? why is it that certain kinds of people seem to enjoy you more, or tolerate you more, the less you give a shit? it's bizarre, even if its kind of understandable. but i can't explain it. for the time being i distract myself with my cafe job, comforted by my craigslist miracle roommate, and this:
this friday i'm going to be in a joint art exhibition featuring drawings by me and my friend Alma. i'm incredibly inspired by the drawings she does, and the show- which is being organized by our mutual friend Logan (whoisloganbeck.com) - will be displayed "refrigerator style". flat thumbtacks will be stuck into the wall and magnets will hold the drawings up by sticking to the tacks through the paper. the idea is to show drawings in the style of those we have scribbled onto little scraps of paper, or notebooks...random artifacts that can be dug up and remembered after being lost in last semester or at the bottom of your bag. there's going to be some newer stuff made with this show in mind, and more formally realised, but i guess still adhering to this idea of stuff you stick on your fridge for visitors to see. like a little kid.
i left a lot of it to the last minute, but i'm pretty excited about it. i'll let you all know how it goes. i'm tired of being sorta sad, more often than not. but, i guess i can ride it out, right?
the official date for my return to LA is December 15th.
The other night I hit the front of a parked car and flew up onto the sidewalk and proceeded to scrap my leg up, and mess up something inside my back and my left arm pretty bad. I don't want to over-exaggerate, but I'll just say that if I had health insurance at this time in my life, then I actually would've gone to the doctor, because my arm was all fucked up. Despite the stupid number of bad bike crashes I've been in, with exception of the time I had to get rushed to the hospital for staples in my head, I've never felt like going to the doctor. Maybe I'm getting older or maybe my body breaks easier. Good news though, because after five days or so, I regained (almost) a full range of motion in my arm. It still hurts like hell, but I feel confident that I didn't break anything now. The craziest part is that my elbow bone on my left sticks out even more than it did after I fell on it at Chaos in Tejas two years ago. My back also still hurts a lot, but I'm sure that will go away after a while. So you're probably wondering how I crashed into the front of a parked car. Drunk? Yeah, but that wasn't the reason. I was trying to practice riding my bike with no hands . . . and with my eyes closed. I'm a fucking idiot.
ps. i miss anyone who checks this, although i suspect that it isn't very many people. also, there's going to be a really awesome halloween show at miguel's house this saturday. reuben, tommy, him, and i are playing as the ramones. our friends ghost porn (formerly blackshirts) are playing as the cramps. some crappy christian folk band is playing as the cure. my friends preston and kenny hall are playing as the temptations/ja rule. dismiscrowave is coming up and playing as the dead milkmen. and possibly my friends steph and zach who live in long beach are playing as kiss. everyone is invited! also, melody, when are you coming back to california?!
i even knew the turn into the parking lot would be slippery, but i fell on my right side anyway. my hip and right pant leg are covered in muddy gravel. pretty lucky there wasn't any car behind me. so, yeah, everyone be safe on their bicycles, because even when we are being safe, we aren't. the end.
Nothing about it is beautiful. God separated the waters from the firmament and confounded our tongues, prostrating our humanity before the indifferent godhead. Evil exists and it is indivisible. Its sinewy essence is inarticulate, making its living in ambiguity and through the hands of poetic charlatans. It excites the lazy mind and tailors well-rehearsed lies to fit any insecurity. The singularity of its breath makes it easy to recognize once one becomes accustomed to the stench. It loves to make unsupported claims about our existence and the celestial bodies. It embroiders art, math, and the sciences with its polysemousness. Objectivity is a human invention and the most remarkable one so far. Lucidity and Reason are at war with relativism, and it is a dubious battle.
why isn't anyone posting? why is houston in the 90s outside? why are my legs covered in bruises all the time? why does my throat hurt? why so many questions? why aren't you dying of laughter yet, you should have clicked on the link like five seconds ago???
we were swimming in the ocean near the shore(this is actually the second ocean-related dream i've had with Chris), and it was getting dark as we were swimming toward these people. it became a queue, and as we weaved through the line, we noticed sharks sneaking up and snatching people from below, but in a silent and stealthy way, like moray eels just popping up and grabbing before retracting to the deeper water. we were reaching the destination (?) without noticing any commotion, when my brother was grabbed. we both tried kicking at the shark's gills, and he was dragged away but there was no sure way of telling whether or not he made it.
so i find myself in this building on the water, old wood everywhere, imagine like a cross between a small library and a hotel check-in counter where i went to inquire about Chris. there was a list of survivors and a list of wounded, as well as a list of the deceased. for some reason i had all this hope and confidence because as i was asking the woman (an asian woman), she had the first list showing, on one side of a sheet of paper. but, as she checked for his name - much in the way a librarian might look through a catalog listing, as in, without any particular solemnity - she turns the sheet over and says i was mistaken, and that my brother was listed among the dead. what followed was pretty awful, i fell to my knees, and was so sad - and promptly woke up and was freaked out for the first ten minutes of my day.
So the full moon is thursday. I believe in pre-emptive spell casting/check cashing. So what will u inflict on reality @ XXX-Large? It's time 2 scream the braizes of Freedom and Love and of Painful Heartbreak That Is Totally Worth It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get the wrong impression. Feed in frenzy. Fart like nobody is smelling. Dance like a predatory fuckbeast. And...........dont forget 2 feed the chickens.
It's Sharkweek god damn it! Watch and learn bitches, watch and learn! And I mean bitches in the most empowering way. This is the perfect op. 2 find out just what you're made of. So what kind of shark R U anywhats? Bull, Hammerhead, Great White, Tiger? Dont front like U dont know/no/gnau.
Full moon 2nite so............ Cast those spells and cast your checks upon the chao, 4 they will knot return un2 U voided. A rising tide raises all shit that floats.
She said “Welcome to hell, my name is Death” as she put her hand in mine, I felt the echo of a heartbeat within a mile of my chest and nearly drowned as I drew in her cold breath. The candlelight seemed to fall into her alabaster skin as I took note that her eyes were both kind and bright, forgiving, in the moment, the circumstance and thinking to myself ‘You’re going to die, however, a good woman is hard to find’.
and had very entertaining, realistic dreams. You were there, and you were there, and you were there too! Call me a hopeless romantic, but I love you all. It's a tough kinda love though, so get ready for some water balloon ambushes. That ain't water in that balloon. It sure ain't water.
so, yesterday, this girl we know, who is sort of ridiculous on a normal level already, got really drunk as usual and started some shit.
one of the things she said to me was "you're from L.A. and you're poor!" like that would mean anything. this was also after she dogged on my recital, and said i should put myself in a shit sack. but she probably wasn't aware of anything at this point. but for those of you who don't know, i haven't been talked to like that since Lacey Pyle. it was a huge shock.
i mostly got really upset because she's from this pretty well-to-do family that moved to Miami recently and for her to throw things like that, and "what are you, a size 30 jeans?" (to our friend Reenat) out for insults just makes me feel sorry that she's rolling with people at home where insults like this actually matter. she's probably so unhappy - that made me pretty unhappy...it sort of ruined yesterday night; but, it being a gnarly story (Reenat got hit in the face), i thought it appropriate to tell you guys on the gnarchives.
for those of you who i might have explained it to,
Beer Bike has already passed. it's a huge event at my school that involves a lot of drinking, and some bike racing, with some epic water balloon fights beforehand.
this year, i was going to try out for the women's team at my dorm/college, and trained and everything, but didn't make it, since my college is so competitive lots of folks were training.
however, being part of the college that has alone held the bragging rights for sweeping all three race wins (alum, men, and women)in the past - twice in the 1980s, and once again in 1999 - i cannot say i was disappointed to at least watch the races that brought in sweep NUMBER 4. Will Rice College is now officially the most obnoxious set of people around.
that was a couple of weekends ago.
also for those of you who might know, i had to give a recital this year as part of the degree requirements of BM. that was this past Tuesday, March 31st (or as i would like to have called it, April Fool's Eve). i'd write more, but i myself find long, picture-less blog posts to be sort of frustrating and boring...so i suppose i shall write more when i have a chance to include some images.
i guess i just sort of wished all of you could be there.
school's out in two weeks, and i graduate May 9th. crazy.
it's been hella days since i've seen any griz-friends. last time i saw anyone was elliott and lily just before new year's, but that was still almost a month ago.
luckily, i will be coming home this weekend to hang out, and i wanted to make sure that i would be able to see everyone, so we should all be sure to hang out. i am going to be getting in friday afternoon/night and staying probably until monday morning/afternoon.
i was curious to know if people were going on bike rides as well, because i can bring my bike, but i was wondering if it was even worth it. if people are down for devilsnaking though, that would rule.
also, i made a link to the loft blog in case anyone in interested in checking that out, it's on the right of the blogs just above the "about me."
as far as i have been able to tell though, brendan and daryl are the only people that post or check this, so whatever.
This beer is most certainly haiku worthy. Even though it tastes kinda weird. Weighing in at 6.2% and for $3.99 a sixer at TJs it's the best buy you'll find.
The first time I got it was in bottle form out of one of those mystery 6 pack deals (also a great buy). And I thought it was pretty terrible. But I was drinking in between really good beers (I'm telling you, those mystery 6 pack deals rule). The second time I had it was in a sixer of cans. And the verdict: it's a really good, functional beer. It's most certainly not great, but it's good at what it does.
Lots of flavor, lots of alcohol. Modestly priced and fun to drink.
Are we going up to San Luis Obispo for the weekend? Tis a good question. Some people want to go to Joshua Tree, others Big Sur. And while those are both nice places to spend a weekend, I think the question we should all be asking ourselves is: are the loft punx gonna be there? Cause we all know that they wont so we should probably just go where ever they are.
Party it up in my hometown, Northridge, for Mu's birthday! I used to rollerblade in front of this house, and now I can go get drunk and listen to music. Nathan will be spinning some sweet sweet dancy delight, and there is rumored to be a couple of bands. (It is also rumored to be Nathan's birthday, though I can neither confirm nor deny these claims.)
For those of you who don't know- Matt Hart and I are destined to never be in a successful musical project. Something always happens and we are left with nothing. But now it's different. We now have something to show for our combined efforts, yet it really had little to do with either of us.
A band we were in for 2 band practices, a 4 song live set, and 2 poorly recorded songs named Crawlspace made it on to a 7" and it is available for consumption at the address below.